Shorts and Snippets

I’d like to nominate the guy recently in front of me in line at CVS as the Biggest Jerk in the World. I ran over to the store earlier to grab candy (because why not) and went to stand in line to check out. It was something like 8 o’clock, there was one cashier, and the line was really long.

Anyway. So I’m standing in line when his older, overweight, reeks-of-smoke-and-God-knows-what-else man in front of me has his cart full of like six items (grape juice, some bread, sugary cereal, trivial stuff) and he is clearly irritated that the line is so long and moving slowly. I’ll call him Crusty. He’s shifting weight, huffing and puffing like he’s the freaking bad wolf in the Three Little Pigs, glancing at his watch, and – I kid you not – is irritably pushing his cart like inches away from the woman in front of him. Like if she were to take half a step backwards she would run into his cart. And when the lady in front of him gets to the counter and starts checking out, instead of waiting behind her like a decent person, Crusty starts putting his items on the counter too, right next to hers.

The lady has two transactions or just has a lot of items or whatever so it takes an extra minute. This freaking a-hole looks ready to have a stroke. Finally it’s his turn, and the cashier very nicely thanks him for his patience, asks how his day is going and if he found everything alright. His response? He grunts, “That gonna be 20% off, correct?”

Cashier: “The bread? Yes, it should be. It’ll take the discount off right at the very end.”

She finishes ringing up his items. Crusty squints at the screen. “It’s supposed to be 20% off.”

Cashier: “Yes, right you are! The bread is 20% off. But unfortunately not the entire sale.”

Crusty: -mumbles something about that not being made very clear and how deceiving CVS is-

Cashier: “I’m so sorry for the confusion. I’d be happy to void the transaction and ring up the 20% items for you.”

Crusty: -glances behind him at the long line. “No, no. Whatever.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? Because–?”

Crusty: “No, forget it. The line is long, and I just don’t understand why you don’t have more than one person working this damn line.”

Cashier: -still cheerfully- “I’m very sorry, sir. I do have another cashier, but she’s checking something for a customer for the moment. She should be back shortly–”

Crusty: “Not my problem.” -takes out a card and swipes at the machine-

Casher: -flinching- “Oh, I see you have a chip card! Go ahead and put it into the machine.”

Then, I kid you not, the chip is weird or something so the guy’s card won’t go through at first. The cashier nicely asks him to try again and at this point, Crusty starts snapping about how his card is perfectly fine, he only got it a month ago, and it’s the only card he uses, and this whole experience is so inconvenient for him. At this point I’m staring at him in disbelief and mouthing to the cashier, “What is with this guy?” I’m pretty sure everyone else is, too.

So finally the poor cashier gives him his receipt and very nicely tells him to have a wonderful night. Crusty snatches his receipt and puts his stuff in his cart and starts waddling away.

I go up to the counter.

“Thank you so much for your patience,” the cashier said, with the same cheerful smile, as she started ringing up my items.

I answered, very loudly. “You’re welcome. Because, you know, you have absolutely nothing to do with the long line.” And this lovely lady proceeded to ask about my Ohio State sweatshirt and have a nice conversation with me. You know what absolutely killed me? Somewhere in our conversation she said, “People just aren’t very happy today. He isn’t the first this evening.”

The icing on the cake? Crusty tailgated me out of the CVS parking lot.

I don’t care if this asshole was having a bad day. I don’t care if his entire family got picked off by dragons after destroying everything he owned. You don’t treat other people with such horrible rudeness and disrespect. There are absolutely no excuses in the world for spreading such nastiness.

Yes, yes, I know that people who are clearly in need of love and kindness are the ones who deserve it the least. But honestly. More often than not I feel they need a slap in the face.